Tudor’s Chili

Tudor's chili

I’m making chili again using my friend Tudor’s recipe. The recipe was published in the Pasadena Mennonite Church newsletter more than 26 years ago. I held on to the recipe in my big move from Los Angeles to seminary in Elkhart, Indiana (AMBS) in 1993 and additional moves since then. I love this version of chili partly because it is delicious and partly because I think of Tudor.

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The first time I had a bowl of Tudor’s chili was when Tudor was the chef in a deli in Altadena, CA. I no longer remember the name of the deli but I remember Tudor working behind the counter, greeting customers, inquiring about their lives, offering encouraging words when needed. He was a pastor for several years previously but was taking a pause from congregational work. Instead, I came to think of Tudor as the pastor of the deli, literally “feed(ing) my sheep.” I gratefully received his pastoral care whether it was through his concern for me or through feeding me.

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Tudor generously provided his chili when Kevin and I married at AMBS seminary. We both had several out-of-town guests and we hosted a noon meal of Tudor’s chili, salads, and cornbread. This allowed for friends and family to reconnect with one another prior to the mid-afternoon wedding ceremony and reception. My mother-in-law still remarks about that chili nearly 24 years later.

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I have adapted this recipe for our palates—less meat more beans. As I stir the chili I think of Tudor feeding people, his face beaming at everyone, displaying the loving face of God. I imagine God’s face beaming like Tudor’s as we enjoy the Great Feast together.

#falliscomingtimeforchili #homemadechili #fredandethelive #pastorofdelis #ambs #pasadenamennonite #beamingfaces #collegevillewrites

What Sustains Me

Youngest niece with her kitten

(My youngest niece with her companion). Photo by Jill Warden

 

7) At the four-way stop on the road from our house to our work there is a parade of roosters, chickens, and ducks moving from corner to corner. Often a rooster is leading the flock like a drum major. I laugh out loud every time I see them.

6) I am delighted during a chat with my 9-year-old niece as she tells me of her class report “Facts about Cats.” I’m not a cat person but I ask follow-up questions which she answers with authority and passion.

5) At The Hermitage, the contemplative retreat center where I work, we begin meals for our guests with ”Food is God’s love made edible.” Our meals are fresh and nutritious from ingredients grown at local farms. Who can compare the taste of freshly harvested beets to beets from a can on the grocery shelf?

4) At the beginning of meeting with retreat guests seeking spiritual direction, I light the oil lamp to remind us that God is with us and we do not have to be afraid. I listen with a prayerful, soulful heart as they entrust their stories to me. Sometimes the vibrational energy is strong and it unnerves me when I remember the stories of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross levitating in their conversations. I am not levitating and I don’t have to be afraid.

3) When my husband gazes at me with love and I am reminded of Julian of Norwich: “I look at God and God looks back at me.” I receive those gazes as the loving face of God.

2) Hermitage morning prayers end affirming each other with: “[Name], you are the bearer of God’s infinite life.” Some days I believe I can be a God-bearer and other days, not a chance.

1) What sustains? God. God is in all, through all, is all.

 

A Lesson in Yielding: St. Kevin of Glendalough

(St. Kevin of Glendalough’s Feast Day is June 3 and I returned to my reflection just after we returned from our trip to Ireland in 2016. I offer it again to you.)

 

Kevin of G.

 

Last fall Kevin and I participated in the The Soul’s Slow Ripening: Monastic Wisdom for Discernment pilgrimage in Ireland. We learned about St. Kevin of Glendalough, an important figure in Celtic Christianity and we were intrigued with the most famous story about St. Kevin holding a bird in his hand while he prayed.

A little background: the original Kevin is somewhat mysterious—it is challenging to know where the facts about him end and the myths begin. For instance, it is said that Kevin was born in 498 and died in 618 giving him about 120 years of life.

He lived as a hermit in a cave in Glendalough yet he attracted people and created community—his cave became the hub of a monastery.

Many of the stories about St. Kevin suggest that he had a deep relationship with the natural world. For example, one legend is that the loneliness of a hermit’s life was alleviated when “the branches and leaves of the trees sometimes sang sweet songs to him.”

Then there is the famous story of St. Kevin and the blackbird.

One day, as the story goes, Kevin was praying with his arm outstretched in his cell in the monastery. The cell was so small that his right arm had to poke out through the window. As he was praying, a blackbird came and nestled in his hand. Then the blackbird started to build a nest. When the nest was complete, the blackbird laid an egg.

Once Kevin realized that the nest and the egg were in his hand, he decided not to move until the egg had hatched and the fledgling had flown away. He didn’t want to risk breaking the egg.

One of the great things about legends is that simple stories are never that simple. This one works on several levels: a good deal of Celtic spirituality is about finding love in hard places; it is about both blood and stone. So, here we have St. Kevin, in his austere cell, undertaking something which is painful and difficult. Another level of the story is the small chick, a fragile creature for which Kevin feels great tenderness, inviting nurture and the pain that might involve. And another facet is yielding to what is emerging.

When we returned home, I ordered the Dancing Monk icon of St. Kevin (from Rabbit Room Arts) then found a small wood hand sculpture and I added a small nest with a bird. These reminders of St. Kevin have been on our home altar since October and I pass it several times a day and  I reflect on these invitations:

*I am invited to yield to what is, to what has been, and what will be.

*I am also invited to pray for the patience of St. Kevin because I sorely lack it.

*And I am invited to submit to God’s work in me, in (my) Kevin, and in our lives.

Kevin of Glendalough Dancing Monk

Seamus Heaney wrote this lovely poem:

St. Kevin and the Blackbird

One turned-up palm is out the window, stiff

As a crossbeam, when a blackbird lands

And lays in it and settles down to nest.

 

Kevin feels the warm eggs, the small breast, the tucked

Neat head and claws and, finding himself linked

Into the network of eternal life,

 

Is moved to pity: now he must hold his hand

Like a branch out in the sun and rain for weeks

Until the young are hatched and fledged and flown.

 

*

And since the whole thing’s imagined anyhow,

Imagine being Kevin. Which is he?

Self-forgetful or in agony all the time

 

From the neck on out down through his hurting forearms?

Are his fingers sleeping? Does he still feel his knees?

Or has the shut-eyed blank of underneath

 

Crept up through him? Is there distance in his head?

Alone and mirrored clear in love’s deep river,

“To labour and not to seek reward,” he prays,

 

A prayer his body makes entirely

For he has forgotten self, forgotten bird

And on the riverbank forgotten the river’s name.

The Spirit Level, 1996

 

Also, Christine Valters Paintner wrote this exquisite poem here.

Questions I ponder:

  • How many times in my life do I reach out my hands for a particular purpose and something else arrives?
  • What needs to be surrendered or yielded in my life for new life to emerge?
  • What might need nurturing? Is there anything holding me back from nurture: fear of pain, fear of loss, fear of what it might cost?

I pronounce you wife and husband

Mike and Sarah (1)

 

Earlier this month I officiated the wedding of our eldest nephew on Vancouver Island, British Columbia. I was honored they asked me to join them and I am grateful for their trust. As I reflected on the wedding this blessing emerged (unfortunately too late to use in the ceremony!).

Wedding Blessing (for Mike and Sarah)

  • *May you be silly and playful together;
  • *May laughter be the soundtrack of your home;
  • *May you delight in each other;
  • *May you be one another’s best cheerleaders;
  • *May you be kind to one another; (Always practice kindness)
  • *May you listen deeply to each other;
  • *May disagreements and arguments be resolved equitably and fairly;
  • *May you resist score-keeping between you;
  • *May you release slights and grudges;
  • *May you remember that you hold each other’s hearts;
  • *May you be patient with yourselves;
  • *May your love be strong and flexible;
  • *May you be brave and bold as you forge this new life together!

–With love, Aunt June

(Photo by Dennis Driedger)